Thursday, April 14, 2011

Ding-dong Dublin Derby Day in Dalymount Debacle

by Clare Wolly
Wed, Apr 13 2011

Like it or not, Shamrock Rovers versus Bohemians is probably the biggest game in world football if many other top leagues are discounted.

Everyone knows about the notorious rivalry between these two Dublin clubs, especially the hi-tech Garda Hooligan unit who will be out in force for this Category A game.

Traditionally it’s a battle between the north and the south sides of the city. It almost makes me feel a little bit sorry for St. Pats because they can only get their highs in a chemical fashion. Don’t get me wrong, St. Pats are one of the big three in Dublin (and I have such a soft spot for them and some of their fans because even celebrities need dealers) but nonetheless there is nothing like when both sides of the Liffey collide four times a year. (Technically speaking the sides of the Liffey cannot collide unless there's a seismic shift in the underlying tectonic plates but bear with me, I'm blonde). It reminds me a little of Newcastle and Sunderland when they played Middlesborough in the Premier League, it was still a derby, just not the derby. (It was also a little unfair putting the Newcastle and Sunderland teams together to play Middlesborough but the Premier League is a cutthroat one.)

In a lot of ways it’s like a cup game but one with 3 league points and no extra time if scores are level. Every one I’ve been to seems to have ended in a draw. No wait, that's matches involving St Pats I'm thinking of. It’s 2007 since our last win at Dalymount too, so a victory is long overdue. I'm talking about football here and not the fights that surround the Dublin derby. If you asked me last Monday what sort of a result I’d predict for the game I’d have said another draw coming out of defeat against Bray, the first smudge on our score sheet. But as I said I’m feeling optimistic today having been to see a certain man with certain happy dust in Inchicore and I think we could win especially after the boost of travelling to the Showgrounds and beating Sligo there on Monday evening. What could be better than standing in Sligo on a Monday night and looking at the locals knowing that you are better than them?

I’m disappointed I don’t have a ticket for Friday but getting one would involve actually caring enough to do something about it. Amazingly I can blag my way through Dublin airport’s security which must make anyone planning a terrorist attack there feel better about their chances of success but alas, jiggling your tits will only get you so far when there’s a mere 1,000 tickets for the game every Rovers fan wants to go to. That's a mere two for every member of the 500 Club. Some of them are fat though in fairness and require 2-3 seats.

Now I know the Connaught Street stand is closed for health and safety reasons but I can’t help thinking that of all the clubs in the Premier Division and considering their financial ‘woes’, you’d have thought the powers that be in Bohs might have tried a bit harder to do something about it. I mean, there are at least 1,000 Shamrock Rovers fans who enjoy sailing. A canal runs right up to Dalymount. If Bohs were serious about their ‘save our club’ campaign they could at least install a temporary dock for the day to enable all the sea-faring Rovers fans to travel to the match in comfort. At least twice as many tickets would have been sold and well, tickets translate into money to the club at the end of the day. Friday is an opportunity lost for those red and black landlubbers.

It’s hard to know how much of an effect not having Twiggy there will have on the rest of the squad. I know she was a famous model in the 1960s and I'm a model so I can certainly sympathise with her on like sooooo many levels. I think the team will still be able to pull together in her absence.

The only thing is Michael O’Neill has so many options to choose from when picking the team. It looks great on paper but how long will players be happy with that? It's all computers and iPods these days, young players like Karl Sheppard are unlikely to like this 'old school' approach with pen and paper for long. But the impression I have of Michael O’Neill is that as the gaffer he’s quite authoritative and the team’s success might come at the cost of one or two individual’s happiness.

I can’t help but wonder why have players moved to Shamrock Rovers when they could be playing every week at other clubs and not dirtying their bib here in piggy paradise? Have they moved there just to be playing for the champions? Or is the money they get every week perhaps a factor given that every other club has none? I'm not sure. By being a blade of grass in a field you’re not really going to stand out, are you? This is why I surround myself with frumpy unattractive women at all times.

I think that’s why when they do get a chance, in competitions like the EA Sports Cup, Rovers players must not look at it as pressure to perform but as an opportunity to show what they’re capable of. And of course, if they get the opportunity to do it against Bohs, that’s all the better for me too. Not that I'll be there of course. But I'll be following the match by text from my favourite wine bar so that's much the same.

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